


My Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

by Carey_Miller



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap, HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, aka I can’t seem to give tangfei a break for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21869281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carey_Miller/pseuds/Carey_Miller
Summary: “You’re the one I hold close to my heart, you’re the one I’ll search the world for just to find you once again.”~~~ *** ~~~Shao Fei has always felt that he was missing someone.A faceless person appears in his dreams once every random day of the month, each dream a little different from one another, getting clearer and clearer. Just before they’re able to touch, someone pulls them away and Shao Fei wakes up.Last night was the first time that Shao Fei finally sees the person whose been searching for him.
Relationships: Jack | Fang Liang Dian & Zhao Li An | Zhao Zi, Jack | Fang Liang Dian/Zhao Li An | Zhao Zi, Meng Shao Fei & Tang Yi, Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116
Collections: Trapped Gift Exchange





	My Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FlorBexter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlorBexter/gifts).



> I got this idea from binge watching WangXian edits,,, hopefully you don’t mind the angst & fluff I inconveniently put here and there... :”)
> 
> Many thanks to TreviTrevo, you’re the reason why I’m still writing! Ily, no hetero ;)
> 
> To @FlorBexter, I hope you enjoy this fic! Thank you so much for creating this Gift Exchange <33!!

_“Meng Shao Fei!” Tang Yi shouts, forcing himself to stay calm but his cold facade is disappearing. His heart races, adrenaline pumping through his veins, breath quickening and he’s_ scared _. His grip on Shao Fei loosens a bit, and shots of electricity jolts his whole body. “Don’t let go, don’t you dare let go! I’ll find a way to save you, I promise!”_

_Shao Fei can only offer a soft, sad smile, “I know you will. I’ll see you soon, okay?”_

_Tang Yi’s mind buffers, and he tries to wrap his head around what Shao Fei means. But it’s too late, the screaming from someone behind and a pointed sword follows, a few centimetres away from his hand. The rock that Tang Yi balances himself on is loosened, and his body lurches forward a bit. Right as he moves, Shao Fei pushes his arm away, letting go of Tang Yi’s arm, and he’s flung down the cliff._

_Tang Yi watches in horror as he sees Shao Fei fall to his death, and before he knows it, uncontrollable tears follow. “Shao Fei!” He screams, but his voice seems so far away, ears ringing and his hand feels so empty._

_The sword from a few seconds ago is pulled out of the ground, and it finds a spot to pierce in Tang Yi’s back. Words are spoken, full of disgust and pity, but Tang Yi can only register one thing: in another life._

~~~ *** ~~~

As long as Tang Yi’s soul is not shattered, he will continue to search for Shao Fei, even if it takes thousands of years. It may take dozens of reincarnations, but before they live a happy life together until the end, Tang Yi’s promise still stays true.

~~~ *** ~~~

The sound of footsteps bounce around the halls, followed by shuffles and the sound of a switch knife being opened and closed. Finally, the knife stops and a deep swallow is followed, “Are you _sure_ it’s him? Not just, some, random doppelgänger who looks like... him?” 

Tang Yi pulls his lips to a frown, but he still walks down the hall towards his dorm, “Yes, I’m sure. There’s only one person who looks and has the same name as my Shao Fei,” He responds, voice sharp and there’s no falter to be heard.

Jack gives Tang Yi a sidelook, humming a bit before saying, “ _Your_ Shao Fei? I’m sure he’s not an object, last time I checked.” There is some sort of snarkiness here and there, but Tang Yi doesn’t comment on it. He is given a cold glare, however.

Putting his hands up in his defence, trying not to laugh, “All I’m saying is that you should think about it before you do something dumb.”

“I have been thinking of this moment for a hundred years. Just when I think Shao Fei and I are finally okay, that we’re safe and I can be by his side until we die a _normal_ death, he slips through my grasps and he’s gone!” Tang Yi huffs, “In our last life, you were even there when he died.”

Straightening his posture, Jack stares outside, “So it’s been like this for a thousand or so years? One of you dies before you both can be happy, and then the cycle repeats? Isn’t that some sort of reincarnation story.” This time, there is no sarcasm in his voice, but rather, melancholy. 

Signing, Tang Yi finally plops himself onto his black swivel chair, resting his chin on the back of his hand, and stares off into the distance. Jack takes the silence as a yes.

The two then work quietly on homework, but Jack feels the tension in the air rise. When it becomes too much, almost suffocating, he excuses himself for the day and heads back to his dorm room. 

Night has fallen, and before Tang Yi can exhaust himself, he heads to his bed. Changing into a proper pair of pyjamas, he pulls the covers and sheets over his head in hopes of waking up to a dream with Shao Fei in it. 

Dreams where the only way Tang Yi remembers Shao Fei and their past lives. Dreams of the past start to appear when Tang Yi is around five or six, with each of them showing glimpses of the past. This dream shows Tang Yi’s most recent past life, which was around the late 1800s, during the Qing Dynasty.

Dressed in delicate blue silk robes and sharp sword in his hands, Tang Yi realized that Shao Fei was by his side, holding a shorter sword, with a bow and arrow slinged over his red robes. This scene was the same as the past week, where the two of them would fight side by side against blurry faces on the opposing side. 

In this life, Tang Yi was the soon to be emperor of the land given from his father Tang Guo Dong. At the mere age of twenty, he was leading thousands of soldiers to fight against other emperors who dared to raise their swords their way. It was then, around the age of twenty two, when a well known scholar and her discipline, who happened to be Shao Fei. Invited by Tang Guo Dong, the two stayed in the palace for just over a year. 

During that year, Tang Yi found that Shao Fei stuck by his side. Constantly talking to him, pestering him, bothering him, if it weren’t for Tang Yi’s past memories and his utter devotion to Shao Fei, Shao Fei would of been kicked out of the palace in just under a few days. 

_“Hey, Tang Yi! Why do you even put up with me? I know I’m stubborn, impulsive, destructive, and childish...”_ Shao Fei had asked him one time, the two of them walking around the gardens of the palace. It came out of nowhere, taking Tang Yi by surprise. _“I just wanna know, are we friends of some sort? Do you like being with me?”_

There was no way Tang Yi could say no, and he still wasn’t sure if it was the correct time to tell Shao Fei about their past lives. Instead, he let out a short “Mn,” which was vague enough. He supposed that Shao Fei took it as a yes, and the shorter male instantly brightened up, beaming even brighter than the sun itself.

Those were the times, the happy and simple times. When Tang Yi wakes up from his dream, he can’t help but to feel... relieved? The heaviness that rested on his chest for months disappeared, and Tang Yi finally can _breathe_. The sunlight peaks through the curtains, birds chirping and maybe, just maybe, today will be a good day.

~~~ *** ~~~

When Shao Fei first approaches him, it’s during Tang Yi’s second year of university. Jack and a few other people dragged him out for a couple of drinks, much to Tang Yi’s displeasure. Jack usually was the designated driver for such outings, but after getting absolutely _wasted_ after three drinks, Tang Yi realizes that it’s up to him to get the two of them back to the dorms. 

As the clock strikes ten o’clock, an almost too familiar face appears with another boy beside him. Shao Fei stumbles into the large table, fidgeting slightly but not as much as his friend, who constantly is whispering to him and attempts to pull him out of here. 

Sitting down a few seats away from Tang Yi and Jack, Shao Fei almost shyly takes a bottle, but doesn’t bother to drink. He just cradles it in his hand, laughing occasionally and taking a few bites of the snacks in front of him. His friend tries to calm himself down, stuffing his mouth with food to distract himself with the noise around them.

Tang Yi doesn’t realize that he’s staring at Shao Fei until their eyes lock and _oh dear god_ , they made eye contact. His hands immediately sweat, and he forces himself to look the other way, hands curling into a ball. His heart pounds against his chest, loud and clear, like it might explode right now. Shao Fei’s eyes were the same from the first time he saw them and now. Dark brown, a mixture of chestnut and cocoa, warm and comforting like a jacket that coats him. 

Gathering as much confidence as he can, taking deep breaths and stilling his body, Tang Yi manages to tilt his head up to sneak a glance at Shao Fei. To his surprise, Shao Fei looks up at the same time, staring at him, and once again, unintentional eye contact. Blinking a few times, Tang Yi watches, in hidden horror, Shao Fei getting up from his spot and waddling his way towards Tang Yi. 

Even though they’ve met over a dozen of times in their past life, Tang Yi would never be ready for this moment. 

“Um, hi?” Shao Fei says, almost like a question. His hands are stuffed in his back pocket, swaying his head a bit and just barely looking up to meet Tang Yi’s eyes, “I don’t think that we met before.”

_Oh, we have met. Over a dozen times, per say,_ “We haven’t,” Tang Yi responds, “My name is Tang Yi, majoring in Business.” Putting out his hand, the familiar warmth spreads through his whole body when their hands touch. 

Shao Fei gives him a dorky smile, making Tang Yi’s inside churn. His smile never gets old, and Tang Yi would willingly fight the sun since there can only be one in this solar system.

“I’m Shao Fei, I’m majoring in Economics.” 

The two of them just stand there, not sure what else to say. Tang Yi feels anxiety spread through his whole body, his mind searching for something to talk about so he could hear Shao Fei’s voice a little bit more. _How are you? How have you been? Do you remember me? Remember anything? Our promise? Your last words? Am I the only one who has to suffer without you?_

Tang Yi realizes that their hands are still locked together, and so he tries to keep his cool and gently pulls his hands away. Shao Fei, who was blanking out for however long, finally blinks back into reality and pulls his hand away quickly, making himself off balance and full of nervous energy. “Sorry, sorry, I don’t know what happened there,” He laughs awkwardly, whipping his hands on his skinny jeans and then shoves them back into his pockets.

“It’s alright,” Tang Yi murmurs, “So, are you a freshman? I haven’t seen you around—.”

“Do I know you?” Shao Fei suddenly says, taking Tang Yi off guard. It’s quick and Tang Yi isn’t quite sure what Shao Fei means, what his voice is hinting at, “I just, I felt like I’ve seen you everywhere? You’re here, and then you’re there, in the most unexpected places ever.” 

Trying to use the best of his abilities and brain cells, Tang Yi bites his lip and then swallows. He’s not ready to tell Shao Fei and a billion of other ears around him about their past lives, and he’s not quite sure if Shao Fei is thinking of the same thing he is. Maybe Shao Fei is just having some sort of deja vu. So he lies through his teeth, plastering on a confused smile and shrugs, “I doubt it, this is the first time I’ve met you.”

Nodding slowly, Shao Fei takes a step back like he’s about to run away. “Oh, okay, cool. Alright, sorry, that was _so_ random, haha,” he rambles on, yet as he takes another step back and bumps into someone. 

Tang Yi finds his body lurching forward, hand out and he wraps it around Shao Fei’s wrist, pulling the smaller male closer to him before he could fall. Shao Fei’s face is buried into Tang Yi’s crisp white shirt, the two of them still with a few others watching them. 

“Are you alright?” Tang Yi asks, ignoring the urge to wrap his arms around Shao Fei, “That was quite the fall.”

“Yeah, oh yeah, I-I’m fine, th-thanks, thank you,” Shao Fei immediately pushes himself off of Tang Yi, stuttering and looking literally anywhere else other than Tang Yi. 

The night seems to long, and Tang Yi builds up some more courage and asks if Shao Fei wants to leave the place. Happily obliging, Shao Fei waves at his friend and tells him over the loud music that he’s going home early.

“But what about me?” His friend, apparently named Zhao Zi, whines with a mouthful of food, “I’m not done eating yet!”

“I promise to make it up with you tomorrow! Korean BBQ after classes tomorrow, okay?” Shao Fei gives Zhao Zi an apologetic look, and all Zhao Zi can do is pout. 

Tang Yi, on the other hand, has to find a way to get the absolutely wasted Jack back to his dorms. “Can anyone give him a ride back to his dorms?” He asks over a crowd, and he hears someone shout “sure.” He knows it’s not the best idea, but, out of love, he lets it slide (just once.)

The two of them finally make their way outside of the restaurant, the cool air waking Tang Yi up a bit. Conveniently, the two of them live in the same dorm building, and so they make their way back. 

Surprisingly, Shao Fei pretends that whatever happened before didn’t actually happen, and talks to Tang Yi likes he’s known him before (how ironic.) The night is still young, but Tang Yi knew that he’s already pushed a lot of his luck, and so instead of doing anything stupid and impulsive, he walks Shao Fei to his dorm room and wishes him a goodnight.

Reaching his own dorm room, he sends a text to Jack to make sure that poor bastard is alright, and is then greeted with a bunch of illegible replies. Shutting his phone off, Tang Yi lays on top of his duvet covers and stares at the dark, empty ceiling. His mind ponders, quite surprised that Shao Fei seemed to have some sort of feeling Tang Yi had all of these past lives. 

It has never happened before, Shao Fei has never remembered any sort of past life until Tang Yi told him. So why, all of a sudden, does Shao Fei remember, especially now 

~~~ *** ~~~

Shao Fei finds himself nearly jumping out of bed, body drenched in sweat and his pants are irregular. Teeth clenched and shoulders stiff, Shao Fei narrows his eyebrows and thinks of what his dream could of meant. 

Never, out of all of the dreams he’s had for the past three years, had the faceless person in his dream have been so clear. The person who held onto him, who begged him not to let go, the one he seemed to love the most and who loved him the most, happened to be the person he just met last night.

Their facial structure, to the crease of their eyebrows and thin lips, those pained eyes that were hidden with a smile, it was Tang Yi who held onto his arm both yesterday and in his dream.

Blinking and using the back of his hand to wipe some sweat off his brow, Shao Fei grips the white sheets and trembles. Taking a few deep breaths, Shao Fei finds the willpower to get out of his bed, wandering to the little mini fridge he has in his dorm room and pull out a bottle of water. Drinking quickly, Shao Fei finally is able to calm himself down. Setting the bottle on the nightstand, he slips back into bed, pulling the duvet covers to his neck.

Clicking his tongue, Shao Fei thinks of every little bit of the dream he’s had. All of them were the same, but they grew clearer and clearer as the months passed. He only had that dream once a month, but it was so vivid that he couldn’t remember it if he tries. At first, it was like he was blind, only hearing desperate shouts of his name, followed by the grip on his arm tighter. He could feel the blood on his mouth dripped down his chin, his short hair replaced with long, silky hair that was tied up into a ponytail, and a gaping wound at the side of his chest. 

He could only hear a few words sometimes, but at the end of the dream, before he pushes himself out of the other man’s grip, was the chilling words, ‘I know you will. I’ll see you soon, okay?’ At first, he wasn’t sure who said it. But it soon became clear, he was the one who said the words. 

As he falls down, warmth leaving his hands, his body jolts and he wakes up.

This dream was the most terrifying. Shao Fei wonders if it really happened, like if those events were just memories of his past life. The tears in Tang Yi’s eyes, the blood that covered the ground, it was all too real. 

A part of him wants to ask Tang Yi, to see if the other male knows something as well. But he’s scared that Tang Yi would give him a look of confusion and disgust, leaving Shao Fei by himself, questions unanswered. Should he play it safe, pretending that he doesn’t know anything? Claim that he was just drunk last night? Or should he press a bit more, learn the truth, if there is any.

Soon, the sun rises, and Shao Fei finds the energy to get out of bed. He pushes his dream to the back of his head, and focuses on a solid excuse to give to Tang Yi about last night. Maybe if he’s lucky, he won’t have to cross paths with Tang Yi today.

The day passes slowly, and when he the bell of his last class rings, Shao Fei thinks that he’s home free. Packing his bags and thanking his professor, Shao Fei quickly makes his way outside the building and sees Zhao Zi. “Zhao Zi, let's grab some BBQ!” He exclaims, slinging an arm around Zhao Zi’s shoulder and the two of them make their way to the closest Korean BBQ. 

When they get there, they grab a booth and order a set meal. Shao Fei has yet to tell Zhao Zi about his weird dreams, but he has thought about saying _something_ to his best friend since high school.

“Hey, Zhao Zi,” Shao Fei says just after they receive a plate of meat and vegetables dressed in a thick sauce, “I have something that I think I can only tell you. You trust me, right?”

Zhao Zi looks up from his phone, giving Shao Fei his usual confused puppy face, “Hmm?” He gives Shao Fei a nod, swallowing his water and smiling, “Of course I do.”

Shao Fei leans closer to Zhao Zi, rubbing his hands together and anxiety running through his veins. Zhao Zi would understand, right? They’ve been through all sort of crazy crap, just a few words should be okay.

“I’ve been having these dreams…” Shao Fei beings, and instantly Zhao Zi’s eyes go wide, “No, not _those_ dreams!” He says exasperatedly, shaking his head. Biting his lip, he lets out a huff.

“Listen. Once a month, this… dream appears. I would be holding onto someone’s arm, about to slip and fall down a cliff.” Shao Fei begins, and is (thankfully) given reassurance to continue, “They would tell me to not let go, and promise me that they’ll find a way to save me.”

“Did they save you?” Zhao Zi asks, eating a piece of his freshly grilled meat. 

Shao Fei’s lips are pressed together in a tight line, and he shakes his head, “I’m not quite sure… I just remember that I told them, every time, _I know you will. I’ll see you soon, okay?_ And then I’ll push my arm away and fall. Isn’t that weird?”

Zhao Zi nods his head slowly, processing Shao Fei’s words. Shao Fei continues, slightly relieved that Zhao Zi hasn’t given him a weird look yet. 

“The thing is… it’s so _real_. Like what you see in those _Xianxia_ Chinese dramas, with the long hair and silk robes and swords, my dream is like that. The person had long hair that was neatly combed and only a section was tied back, plus wearing some blue robes and there was blood on our hands. I would already have a red robe, my hair in a ponytail and I could feel the warmth of their hands. I could just… see the tears and pain in their eyes as they kept calling out my name.” 

Blinking, Zhao Zi briefly points his chopsticks at Shao Fei, “So, like, the _Untamed_?”

Letting out a sputter, Shao Fei shakes his head aggressively, “No, it’s not the _Untamed_. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are clearly in love, but there is no way that I love the guy holding onto my arm!” Shao Fei realizes that his voice was raised, nearly standing at the table. Ducking his head in embarrassment, Shao Fei sits back down and collects his emotions.

“That… person and I, I don’t like them. I don’t think they like me either. We’re probably just friends.” Shao Fei dismisses, and then finally leans back in his seat. Zhao Zi gives him a long look, and Shao Fei can’t quite read what his expression means.

Finally speaking (with a mouth full of food), Zhao Zi comments, “Famous last words.”

~~~ *** ~~~

A week after Tang Yi’s first ‘meeting’ (more like reunion) with Shao Fei, he manages to cross path with the other male at the local cafe on campus.

Ever since their meeting, Tang Yi’s dream shows their most recent separation. In the palace, Tang Yi revealed that they have lived over a dozen life’s together, but before finally living a peaceful life, either one of them dies a painful death. Shao Fei was definitely surprised and a bit scared, but was able to reassure himself that it won’t be like last time. 

The scene was so perfect, Tang Yi finally confessed that he’s been in love with Shao Fei (for too many years to count.) As they held each other tightly, never once letting go, Shao Fei was about to say “I love you” back, but the scene fades and Tang Yi could only hear the sound of metal and a pained cry follow before he wakes up.

It still shakens Tang Yi, thinking about the thick substance on his robes and hands, but he pushes those thoughts away and focuses on the present. This time, he won’t lose Shao Fei. There are no swords or poison or whatnot to kill either of them, so all he has to worry about are accidents that come out of nowhere.

This time, Tang Yi and Shao Fei will have a happy ending. He’ll make sure of it.

The cafe on campus is a lot like a Starbucks, but they at least have those disgusting egg bites or complicated drink orders. With a long countertop filled with signs and machines, a large TV screen with all types of items to purchase, wooden tables and chairs pressed against the walls, it’s surprisingly cozy and homey.

Tang Yi didn’t realize that the person in front of him was Shao Fei until he caught a glimpse of his voice.

“... and a carrot muffin would be nice!” Shao Fei says, handing the barista change. “He somehow doesn’t catch the flirty look that is given from the barista, but Tang Yi does. Sending a cold glare towards the barista, Shao Fei suddenly turns around and lets out a little “oh” before smiling.

“Tang Yi! I didn’t think you’d be that sort of person to buy coffee!” Shao Fei says, and all Tang Yi can do is nod. Shuffling to the side, Shao Fei waits for Tang Yi. 

Tang Yi orders a regular black coffee with packets of sugar and cream on the side, handing over his change and gives the barista a look of _if you flirt with him, your dead._

Making their way to the other side of the counters, a different barista gives Shao Fei a large cup of extra-sweetened mocha and a carrot muffin. A few seconds later, Tang Yi is given his medium black coffee and the two of them exit the cafe.

“So, do you have any classes soon?” Shao Fei asks, “we could walk around for a bit if you don’t.”

Tang Yi has his first class at ten, which is plenty of time to think of a way on how to woo Shao Fei. He has somehow successfully wooed Shao Fei every time they met, each time is a bit accidental. “I don’t have anything until ten. You?” He says, short of words.

Shao Fei beams, and then sips his piping hot drink, “I wanted to get something sweet before rush hour, but my classes are not until noon!” Another smile.

Tang Yi makes a mental note to himself on the time Shao Fei has his first class, and wonders if he can continuously wake up early enough to meet Shao Fei at the cafe every Thursday. 

He listens to Shao Fei mindlessly babble about his everyday life, so easily and so casually, just like every other life before. Tang Yi always knew that Shao Fei was someone everyone could easily get to know, always so talkative and able to start up a conversation before things got awkward. Unlike Tang Yi, Shao Fei had some sort of spark inside of him that would continue to burn until his dying breath. 

As time runs short and Tang Yi has to get to his first class, Shao Fei finally breaks that ice that he has seemingly been wanting to say for a while, “Anyways, about last week…” He starts, but pauses. His face shifts, eyebrows narrowed and jaw out. “I’m sorry about what happened. I was practically drunk, didn’t know what I was doing. So if I said anything weird, it was probably nothing, haha…”

Tang Yi isn’t sure what that heaviness in his stomach is, or why he feels disappointed. Pushing it back, he forces a smile and waves it off, like he forgot what happened last week as well, “Don’t worry about it, nothing really happened.”

Shao Fei sighs, relieved, “Okay, that’s good.” Tang Yi isn’t able to understand why Shao Fei sounded disappointed as well. His voice had only a hint of sadness, so why are the both of them now upset?

~~~ *** ~~~

Their friendship seems to go smoothly for the next few months. Before Shao Fei realizes it, he spends just as much — maybe even more— time with Tang Yi than he usually does with Zhao Zi. He wouldn’t say that they were attached to the hip as if they knew each other since they were children, but he’s saying exactly that.

Shao Fei usually finds himself hanging out at Tang Yi’s dorm every other day, lounging on the swivel chair or straight-up on the floor. They don’t do much, mostly talk about life (and other stuff), joking about Shao Fei’s weird obsession with keychains (and how he has over a hundred of them at home.)

Time goes by too fast when he’s with Tang Yi. Sometimes he wishes that he could just stay with him and never leave. It… shouldn’t be weird, right? Shao Fei really just enjoys Tang Yi’s company, feeling that Tang Yi was that missing part of his life that he never realized he missed until they were apart.

He doesn’t realize that his friendship is _different_ with Tang Yi than with Zhao Zi. Different as he doesn’t mind not seeing Zhao Zi for a week, but misses Tang Yi like crazy when they don’t see each other for two days. Different as Zhao Zi only pops up in his mind maybe once or twice a day, but Tang Yi is constantly on his mind. Different as he is okay with being apart with Zhao Zi for a long time, but he wants to be by Tang Yi’s side all the time.

_Are we just really good friends?_ He asks himself.

Shao Fei notices that his monthly dream stops appearing after he finally found out who was in his dreams. Analyzing his dreams from his memory, all Shao Fei could come up with was that a) Tang Yi and him had to be very close friends in his dream, like some sort of foreshadowing, and b) the mystery of the blurry faced man (Tang Yi) was finally revealed and there was no reason to continue on the dream.

Yet when he wakes up in a cold sweat at night, in the middle of January, he realizes that _oh my god, I don’t think we’re just friends._

To rephrase that, Shao Fei had a horrifying realization that he likes Tang Yi. Like as in like like. Affection. Want. Love. Shao Fei doesn’t just see Tang Yi as a really good friend, he likes him so much that it hurts. 

He texts Zhao Zi in a flurry of panic and excitement. 

_Me: I!!! Like??? Tang Yi??!!!!! I really like him! Lots!! What do I do???? Do I do anything?? Do you think he likes me back?? Zhao Zi!!!! Help me!! I thought we were just friends but?? No? Hhh??_

After ten minutes of screaming into his pillow, Zhao Zi finally replies to Shao Fei’s string of texts.

_Zhao Zi: Famous last words._

~~~ *** ~~~

It’s not until they’re somehow on top of each other (on Tang Yi’s bed), that Shao Fei thinks, _holy fuck_. From passively-aggressively throwing books at each other, to tackling each other and then finally falling onto Tang Yi’s bed, Shao Fei has his third realization flares his anxiety to the sky.

He… definitely wants to go further than play wrestling on the bed. 

His mind screams, _hold the fuck up_ , but his body is chanting _do it, coward._

Tang Yi also gives him this look, one that Shao Fei can’t interpret. _Does he also wanna do something that friends don’t normally do?_ Eyes glazed, Tang Yi shifts himself a bit and gently rests a hand on Shao Fei’s waist. 

“Shao Fei…” Tang Yi murmurs, voice like honey. Thick and smoothly, his tone feels different than anything Shao Fei has heard before.

All goes too fast, and before Shao Fei can doing anything impulsive (ie// lean up and press his lips against Tang Yi’s), he rolls over and falls onto the floor. Face red and burning hotter than the sun, Shao Fei can’t find any confidence to look at Tang Yi.

“S-sorry, I think I should go home for the day. I’m not feeling well,” Shao Fei stammers out, the lie strangely hard to say. His whole body shakes, and he covers his face with his hands so Tang Yi doesn’t have to see how much of an absolute mess he looks like.

Lips pressed tightly against one another, Tang Yi looks like he wants to say something, but doesn’t, hands curled tightly and stiff by his side. Instead, he nods and asks if he would like some medicine or water.

Shao Fei shakes his head, apologizing again, before finding the strength to move his body, picking up his backpack and hurriedly exiting the room without looking back.

Reaching his dorm room, he closes the door and leans against it, heart pounding because of both running across campus and of the situation. Grabbing onto his shirt, Shao Fei presses his legs against his chest so he can hide away the regret in his heart. _So, so stupid,_ he thinks, not sure if he wants to bang his head against the door or cry.

In the end, he does both. 

~~~ *** ~~~

It takes a month until Shao Fei finally says _fuck it_ and confesses to Tang Yi (literally just after Tang Yi’s lecture.)

For that whole month, Shao Fei has felt utterly horrible. He aches to go back to that moment and do something other than running out of the room with no further explanation, aches to talk to Tang Yi and explain that he didn’t mean to act so different, aches to just see Tang Yi again.

They haven’t talked for a month since the incident, the days passing by slowly and Shao Fei feels like it’s been thirteen years since he last saw Tang Yi.

Zhao Zi, thank heavens, finally slaps him out of his pity party. “You can’t just mope around all day and cry all night!” He says, trying to take the cornetto out of Shao Fei’s hand. 

“Sure I can, do you see my eyes?” Shao Fei replies, “Tang Yi probably doesn’t even like me, maybe I was just imagining this whole thing. God, ever since my dream with Tang Yi, I’ve been a mess.”

Eyes widen, and mouth agape, Zhao Zi gives Shao Fei an incredulous look. “What?” 

Shao Fei shrugs, biting into his cornetto, “The person in my dream, who called out my name and tried to hold onto me so I wouldn’t fall, was Tang Yi.” It’s not like it was that much of a deal, Shao Fei might as well just say that out to clear up anything he didn’t say before.

Sputtering, Zhao Zi immediately pulls Shao Fei off of his bed and looks at him straight in the eye, “Talk to him.”

Now it’s Shao Fei’s turn to say “what?”

Zhao Zi’s grip on Shao Fei’s shoulders tightened, and he calmly says, “You have to talk to him. Please, talk to Tang Yi. Tell him how you feel before it’s too late. I promise you, Tang Yi isn’t going to reject you. Have you not seen the look on his face when the two of you talk? He liked you since you guys first met!”

Halfway into his cornetto, Shao Fei stares dumbly at Zhao Zi, processing the information he just got. “What?!” He says again.

“Just, _go_!” Zhao Zi pushes him to the door and then closes it behind Shao Fei. 

Dropping his cornetto, Shao Fei sprints through the hallways, crashing into the wall and a few doors along the way. Making his way down the stairs, he reaches outside of the dormitory building. Mind racing, adrenaline pumping through his veins, Shao Fei doesn’t stop to catch a breath as he runs across campus to Tang Yi’s lecture hall, the social studies building.

Nearly slipping as he enters the building, Shao Fei slides into Tang Yi’s lecture hall, the class just ended a minute ago. He spots Tang Yi at the very back, surrounded by a group of people. 

“Tang Yi!” He calls out, the words feeling so easy to say as it rolls off of his tongue. 

Looking up, Tang Yi’s eyes widened just a bit, posture changing and he stops in the middle of his sentence.

Speed walking, Shao Fei pushes through the crowd of people and hold onto Tang Yi’s arm, staring up at him and he exclaims, “I really like you.”

The whole room goes quiet, the buzzing noise of chatter fading and everyone looks at Shao Fei and Tang Yi. Shao Fei ignores it, only focusing on the person in front of him. “I mean, I _like_ like you. Lots, so much. I fancy you, love you, want you, can’t be without you, something along those lines.”

For once, Tang Yi loses his cool and calm demeanour, “... you…?” He stammers.

This time, Shao Fei lets himself be impulsive. Reaching his hands up to Tang Yi’s face, standing on his tiptoes and kisses him. No second thoughts, no anxiety, Shao Fei went through with his (unplanned) plan and there was no going back. 

Suddenly, Tang Yi moves his arms to wrap them around Shao Fei’s waist, pulling the smaller male closer, deepening the kiss. A few gasps could be heard in the background, and then followed by some cheers.

Pulling away, Tang Yi whispered so quietly that only Shao Fei could hear it, “I like you too.” 

After a month full of dread, Shao Fei finally smiles.

~~~ *** ~~~

Tang Yi’s dream is a bit different now. After Shao Fei’s confession, all of the dreams he’s had consisted of soft, fluffy and heartwarming confessions. Other times, there would be calm days of the two spending time together, reflecting on the dates that they had the day before.

Things were great, Tang Yi finally feels that he can calm down. 

Or not.

Waking up in a cold sweat, Tang Yi screams out in frustration, realizing that things weren’t over yet. Something still is in the way of their happy, peaceful life. A nightmare, the same one that he’s had too many times.

_“Don’t let go, don’t you dare you let go! I’ll find a way to save you, I promise!”_

_“I know you will. I’ll see you soon, okay?”_

“Just let us be happy!” Tang Yi screams, like he’s shouting at someone, wanting to blame them. It would be so much easier just to face a person rather than unstoppable fate. 

Getting out of his bed, he fixes himself a glass of water and checks his phone. There’s a new text message that was sent from a few minutes ago. As he reads it, his heart stops, the cup of water slipping out of hands and shatters beneath him.

Without thinking twice, Tang Yi throws on a pair of pants and a coat over his pyjamas, slipping on whatever footwear he could find at the moment, and runs out of the dorm room with his keys and phone in hand.

The drive to the hospital nearly tips Tang Yi off the edge. No matter how fast he drives, he feels like it’s not fast enough. He needs to be there now, he can’t wait, too much time is slipping between his fingers like water.

“Please, what room is Meng Shao Fei in?” Tang Yi nearly shouts, hands gripping onto the counter top. 

“Sir, Meng Shao Fei is still in surgery. Those two young men over there were with him in the ambulance, you may wish to talk to them to know what happen as you three wait.” The lady at the front says calmly, pointing to two people are the far right of Tang Yi.

Eyes focusing on the two people, he comes to realize that it’s Jack and Zhao Zi. Before he can think, Tang Yi rushes up to Jack and grabs him by the collar, demanding to know what happened to Shao Fei. 

Zhao Zi comes in between them, forcing Tang Yi to let go of Jack. “A-Fei was with Jack and I last night, in our shared dorm room. He… asked us about something that you already know of,” Zhao Zi pauses for a moment, licking his lips and he thinks. Looking to Jack, he waits until he gets affirmation before continuing, “You and A-Fei… knew each other before?”

Tang Yi stares at Zhao Zi, confused. “What?”

“I mean, you and him both shared a lot of past lives with each other, correct?”

Tang Yi blinks, and then it sinks in. _Shao Fei knows_. His mind screams at him, memories resurfacing and he remembers that just as Shao Fei realizes that they were reincarnated and knew each other in their other lives, either one of them die not too long after.

Head whipping to Jack, he feels himself baring his teeth, jaw out and hands clenched so tightly together than his knuckles are white. “You.” He seethes, “You told Zhao Zi.”

Jack puts his hands up in his defence, “Why do you think your Shao Fei confessed to you two weeks ago?”

And his world slows down, the chattering all around him becomes static and he sees white. Someone helps him sit down before Tang Yi could collapse. His mind races and races, but before he realizes it, it suddenly goes blank.

Tang Yi isn’t sure how much time passes before a man in white, presumably a doctor, comes out from a different hallway, face mask on and new gloves on. “Are all three of you associated to Meng Shao Fei, correct?” He asks.

Standing up, Tang Yi breathes slowly as he nods his head. His mind suddenly feels a bit dizzy from standing up so quickly.

The doctor glances at his watch, and Tang Yi feels his heart plummet.

_He’s gone. I was so close this time, we almost made it. How many more times do we have to suffer before we have a happy ending?_

Tears form at the side of his eyes, and Tang Yi turns away from Zhao Zi and Jack and the doctor. He’s tried so hard to stay by Shao Fei’s side, but it seems that fate was going to end their happiness.

Suddenly, the doctor spoke, “Meng Shao Fei is in serious condition, but he has not passed. Thankfully, with the use of new technology, we were able to stop the bleeding and ensure that he is in good condition.”

Relief hits him like a truck, and Tang Yi almost cries out. The doctor lets a nurse lead them to Shao Fei’s hospital room, loud footsteps in the silent hallways, and the three of them finding Shao Fei fast asleep on the bed. 

The nurse leaves the three alone, and Tang Yi plops himself on one of the seats closest to Shao Fei. Carefully, Tang Yi reaches out and holds onto Shao Fei’s hand, holding it up like it’s glass. Leaning forward, he presses his lips against Shao Fei’s knuckles, before pressing Shao Fei’s hand against Tang Yi’s chest. 

He doesn’t cry, but feels like he’s always about to when his mind thinks of the terrifying moments that has happened in the span of the night. Wiping away the tears, Tang Yi allows himself to relax a bit, waiting for Shao Fei to wake up.

Shao Fei does wake up a few minutes later, slightly confused about why he’s in the hospital. He does give Tang Yi a faint grin, smiling dorkily. “Tang Yi, don’t cry.” He murmurs.

“I’m not.” Tang Yi replies.

“If you saw the look on his face, Tang Yi was literally about to cry.” Jack says, and earns a hard, cold glare from Tang Yi. “It was like the world immediately collapsed beneath him.”

“He is my whole world.” Tang Yi says gruffly, not bothering to look at Jack.

Shao Fei stifles out a weak laugh, leaning his head against his pillow. “That’s adorable.”

Tang Yi watches him, waiting for him to say whatever was on his mind. It takes a few seconds, but Shao Fei finally opens his mouth.

“Zhao Zi and Jack told me what happened. I mean, hundreds and thousands of years ago.” Shao Fei starts, voice just at a whisper, “Did… I really die when I fell?”

Tang Yi nods, not saying a word.

The other nods. “What happened to you?”

“I… died too.” His grip on Shao Fei’s hand tightened. “Next thing I knew, I was back, in a different time, in a different body. But I found you not so long after.”

“Weird.” Is all Shao Fei could muster out. He closes his eyes and sighs, before asking another question, “How many times did you have to watch me die?”

Recalling the memories, Tang Yi counts them in his head before responding, “Six. The other six, I died first.”

“This could of been the seventh time for you. Thirteen,” Shao Fei says exactly what Tang Yi was thinking of, “Good thing that didn’t happen.”

All Tang Yi could do was nod again. The room goes quiet for a while, before Jack finally motions to Zhao Zi and tells the others that they were going to go back to their dorms. “See you guys soon,” Jack waves.

“Bye, A-Fei. I’m glad you’re safe.” Zhao Zi smiles and he waves as well.

Soon, it’s just Tang Yi and Shao Fei. Shao Fei removes his hand from Tang Yi’s grip, to then slowly caress Tang Yi’s cheek. “I love you, you know?”

“I love you too,” Tang Yi feels his heart soften, and he smiles, “I love you so much. You’re my world, you’re my everything. My yesterday, today and tomorrow.” 

Laughing, Shao Fei beams, “That was the cheesiest thing you could of said to me.” 

“I know.”

Shao Fei’s laughter fills the room, and Tang Yi smiles even more. 

“Hey, you know, you’re the one I hold close to my heart, you’re the one I’ll search the world for just to find you once again.” Shao Fei says softly, “I think if I were you, I’d search and search just so I could see you again. I can’t imagine us being apart.”

“Now _that’s_ cheesy.”

“Shut up, oh my god.” Shao Fei gently pushes Tang Yi, giggling. 

Another pause. Tang Yi moves his chair closer to Shao Fei and leans in to press a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. Shao Fei returns the kiss, smiling so much that could rival the sun (and win.)

“Actually, Zhao Zi told me this, but I denied it. We are a lot like the _Untamed_ characters.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Shao Fei gives Tang Yi a playful grin, “but we are practically soulmates. I mean, being reincarnated thirteen times? Being in love and then dying, to only have the process being repeated? Wow. Never would of guessed that.”

Tang Yi finally rests his head against Shao Fei’s bed, closing his eyes and he breathes out, “Me neither.”

**Author's Note:**

> This took so long, I’m so so so sorry!! TT w TT
> 
> Edits / Clarification: 
> 
> — Rip to both the cornetto and glass of water, salute to our soldiers (T - T)ゞ
> 
> — Also it wasn’t mentioned in the fic, but Shao Fei stormed out of his dorm to go to Tang Yi’s to confront him about their reincarnation / past life stuff, but he got into an accident along the way and was sent to the hospital (Jack & Zhao Zi was trying to stop him from being so impulsive.)
> 
> — Since Shao Fei didn’t die from the accident (all hail technology) the cycle of reincarnating ends during this life. So now Tang Yi and Shao Fei’s souls will be happy and no longer search for each other, since they’re together and (will) live a good life!
> 
> — Tang Yi’s promise was to save Shao Fei, which was the reason why both of them were reincarnated. The promise that saved Shao Fei was when Tang Yi confessed back “I like you too” after Shao Fei’s month of pity, not afterwards when they were at the hospital. If Shao Fei was rejected and/or Tang Yi confessed later on, either one of them would of been dead a few days later. Therefore, promise is fulfilled! Yay! 
> 
> (End of edits)
> 
> If you liked it (or at least thought it wasn’t a burning trash can full of crap), please leave a kudo/comment! It makes my day and I’ll gain over 9000+ HP to write more! 
> 
> Have a wonderful day! :D


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